There is always a dilemma when starting something new in life, be it work related or relationships. The feeling is similar to the one we get when standing next to a lake, ready to take the plunge. Afcourse, there is always toe dipping and easing into the water, just hoping that its not too cold for survival. But how many of us get a chance like that? And even if we do, don't we spend a major chunk of the time just contemplating. Plan, plan and plan every second and still, its not going to go the way we want it to. There are just too many variables and the ecosystem does not allow predictability. So, how does one navigate? Is there a map, a sequence or is it sheer luck or chance ( seemingly better word ). Patterns can be seen, but then again, do they really exist.

New projects seem fairly simple. Plan out everything, give enough buffer for budget and time. Sit on everyone's head until it gets executed and hopefully, things will work out. Well, it sounds easy enough. There is always the dependency on people, and the natural elements, but even that can be accounted for.
Where do we actually go wrong is the execution. There is not enough people following up, usually 1 person. And that is the crux of the problem.

There is something worse than a new project, probably 10 times bigger. A relationship. Now where do i begin. This is almost always a life long project, requiring time, effort, and a lot of patience from both sides. It begins with a fairly superficial understanding of the person, covering the "check list" as we call it.  The selection criteria, if I may say so, itself is taxing 

The mellow din of delirim,
Ringing faintly in my cerebrum,
Spreading it's tentacles onto every sphere,
Building about me,a cost lair.
A cloud of gloom looms large,
Soaking in my minds eye like a mirage,
This vile clasp will I ever shatter?
Into a million pieces of matter.
Revealing a new world wrought with beauty,
That spreads beyond call of duty...

Something Missing

There are so many things that are in my head, I'm not sure where to begin. Life seems to be going in circles, work seems to be increasing ( not that I mind) and well, so much is happening. It almost feels that I have very little time for myself. But that is not true. I get a daily 2 hr ( otherwise called driving) to drift into my own world, my thoughts and so on.Afcourse I focus on the road and all. But the truly doing nothing time is getting shortened.
And then there is more. There are so many things which I would like to do, which I want to do, but I guess I dont want it enough. For example, I would want to finish the book soon, and it seems like I have time, but I don't seem like I have the peace of mind to sit and read. Then there is the Gym...

Yea, that is a story I don't want to focus on. But somewhere, I feel that I have been letting my self go.And no, its not after getting married syndrome. I guess its just something is missing