With every day that passes us by, we create a new world around us. The people around us evolve and what we know, and what don't we know also changes. It is in this rapidly changing world that we try and build some semblance of a structure. We create our network of people and a web is spun around us. The furthest are those acquaintances whom we keep, for a gain in the future and exchange of favours. Its a network which is dynamic in the outer peripheries but as it comes closer to the center, the bonds that attach us to the people increase, and thus the fixed nature of the relationship. It becomes very difficult to severe those relationships. There is an element of flexibility that is lost in these relationships as they come closer to you. But these are the support structure of your entire network. Without these, basic survival becomes a struggle.
But i guess, we all know these things. Reiterating the obvious is not really some stroke of brilliance. What my little experiences(more from observations) with relationships have taught me is the inherent expectations that we all have from each other. We all want and expect somethings from the other person in a relationship and those are the criteria which decide the quality of the relationship. For example, we expect our friends to be there when we need them, and listen to our bullshit when we shell it out in an endless manner. There is, however a relationship which we supersedes all others, which is the most delicate and yet the most closest to the center of our existence. A relationship many of us have so many preconceived notions while entering, and one which becomes at times, the essence of our being. Our spouses, play such a vital role in every thing we do, and yet we spend so little time trying to understand it.
There is a fine balance between expectations and the working of a relationship. Its almost as if we weigh one side and match it with the other. A increase in the expectations only brings down the quality of your relationship as the people who are involved are trying to match the expectations while forgetting to grow in it. Its almost mathematical, the whole equation. As we add extra variables, the value changes and eventually the whole equation changes. The opposite is also true, where in, you reduce the expectation from the other person, and watch the relationship flourish. Simplicity seems to be some sort of solution to the magical question "What makes a marriage work?" The whole concept of giving up to gain sounds implausible, but there is substantial evidence to prove the appropriateness of this concept. I guess, over time, we all have to find a way that works..
